Beautifully Broken

I keep a series of journals, several different ways in which I sort my way through life's ups and down, challenges and celebrations.  This is an evolution of chronicling that began when I was pregnant with my daughter over 30 years ago and my sister gave me a blank journal in which to record the events of pregnancy and babyhood for my daughter to one day read.  I have written in a variety of blank books over the years, not daily or sometimes even monthly, but it is fun to go back and see an overview of how life has evolved.

Once I began doing mixed media art, I incorporated art journals into my arsenal of self expression, this too has evolved as all of our expressive forms do.  Currently, I journal a monthly list of what kinds of creative works I have done, along with a section for thoughts on the process and a place to record where my resources toward creativity have gone.  On the facing page I do a simple collage.  Even when I am at a lull in activity and creative expression I am able to record many creative endeavors that have carried me through my days - in my case busy hands=happy heart.

The above was slapped together very quickly when we returned from our harrowing loss of my father-in-law. It just came through me as any real expression does, we are just in the flow.  There are no illusions about any real art being made here, but it resonates with me nonetheless. Broken can be beautiful and often when the heart breaks, it breaks open allowing love and light to flood in and spill over.  We are blessed to have loved one so dear and to have allowed his love and light to fill us to overflowing.

Ezra the Magnificent

We are so filled with joy I hardly have words.  Our beautiful Ezra came on May 23rd and in perfect time to fill our hearts when it would be most needed.  As life is nothing if not an endless roller coaster of ups and downs, our greatest joy was followed within a month with our deepest sorrow as we had to say goodbye to one of our most cherished.

How vast was that swing from elation to devastation and yet, that is the rhythm of life and no one knew it better than my dear, sweet father-in-law.  No man has ever lived who got it more than he did. He told everyone he encountered over and over, "relax, enjoy life", he never said a harsh word or judged another, truly he was a very advanced and wise soul, and we are grateful and joyous that we had him and cherished and adored him for as long as we did. We are ever more grateful that we had a tangible place to seek solace from our pain as we held our little Ezra.

First comes Love . . .

First comes Love, then comes marriage, then  . . .   You know how it goes.  What a year 2012 was, both kids married in joyous union with wonderful spouses who compliment them perfectly, who fill their hearts and uplift their souls.  At the marriage of our daughter, following a beautiful civil ceremony in lower Manhattan in the wedding garden across the street our son gave us our next great celebration of love.  After asking if I was ready for the next surprise (and with the full knowledge and support of his sister and her wife) he handed me their ultrasound picture, announcing a 10 week pregnancy!!

Joy of joy, little E is due next month!! - Choosing not to know the sex, but choosing names that begin with E, we await with such love and happiness this miracle of love and light.  While creating the above piece, intended to be about angels (hence the 3-3-3), the spirit of Little E came to me and I knew this piece was not to be mine, but was for Elias' wife Erika and is a celebration of the phrase "Dar A Luz", which is used in many Spanish speaking cultures to mean "to give birth" but literally translates as "to give to light."  What a perfect turn of phrase that is.  Both Erika and Elias are fully engaged an attentive to every subtle nuance of the process of bringing forth life, eating healthy nutrient rich foods, exercising according to guidelines, following every detail of instruction from their doctor, attending classes about parenting and the birth process, preparing a beautiful room and a bookshelf of books for Little E.  My fervent wish is that all children could enter the world so loved and wanted, so celebrated and cherished.