Beautifully Broken

I keep a series of journals, several different ways in which I sort my way through life's ups and down, challenges and celebrations.  This is an evolution of chronicling that began when I was pregnant with my daughter over 30 years ago and my sister gave me a blank journal in which to record the events of pregnancy and babyhood for my daughter to one day read.  I have written in a variety of blank books over the years, not daily or sometimes even monthly, but it is fun to go back and see an overview of how life has evolved.

Once I began doing mixed media art, I incorporated art journals into my arsenal of self expression, this too has evolved as all of our expressive forms do.  Currently, I journal a monthly list of what kinds of creative works I have done, along with a section for thoughts on the process and a place to record where my resources toward creativity have gone.  On the facing page I do a simple collage.  Even when I am at a lull in activity and creative expression I am able to record many creative endeavors that have carried me through my days - in my case busy hands=happy heart.

The above was slapped together very quickly when we returned from our harrowing loss of my father-in-law. It just came through me as any real expression does, we are just in the flow.  There are no illusions about any real art being made here, but it resonates with me nonetheless. Broken can be beautiful and often when the heart breaks, it breaks open allowing love and light to flood in and spill over.  We are blessed to have loved one so dear and to have allowed his love and light to fill us to overflowing.

Ezra the Magnificent

We are so filled with joy I hardly have words.  Our beautiful Ezra came on May 23rd and in perfect time to fill our hearts when it would be most needed.  As life is nothing if not an endless roller coaster of ups and downs, our greatest joy was followed within a month with our deepest sorrow as we had to say goodbye to one of our most cherished.

How vast was that swing from elation to devastation and yet, that is the rhythm of life and no one knew it better than my dear, sweet father-in-law.  No man has ever lived who got it more than he did. He told everyone he encountered over and over, "relax, enjoy life", he never said a harsh word or judged another, truly he was a very advanced and wise soul, and we are grateful and joyous that we had him and cherished and adored him for as long as we did. We are ever more grateful that we had a tangible place to seek solace from our pain as we held our little Ezra.

First comes Love . . .

First comes Love, then comes marriage, then  . . .   You know how it goes.  What a year 2012 was, both kids married in joyous union with wonderful spouses who compliment them perfectly, who fill their hearts and uplift their souls.  At the marriage of our daughter, following a beautiful civil ceremony in lower Manhattan in the wedding garden across the street our son gave us our next great celebration of love.  After asking if I was ready for the next surprise (and with the full knowledge and support of his sister and her wife) he handed me their ultrasound picture, announcing a 10 week pregnancy!!

Joy of joy, little E is due next month!! - Choosing not to know the sex, but choosing names that begin with E, we await with such love and happiness this miracle of love and light.  While creating the above piece, intended to be about angels (hence the 3-3-3), the spirit of Little E came to me and I knew this piece was not to be mine, but was for Elias' wife Erika and is a celebration of the phrase "Dar A Luz", which is used in many Spanish speaking cultures to mean "to give birth" but literally translates as "to give to light."  What a perfect turn of phrase that is.  Both Erika and Elias are fully engaged an attentive to every subtle nuance of the process of bringing forth life, eating healthy nutrient rich foods, exercising according to guidelines, following every detail of instruction from their doctor, attending classes about parenting and the birth process, preparing a beautiful room and a bookshelf of books for Little E.  My fervent wish is that all children could enter the world so loved and wanted, so celebrated and cherished.

The Promise of Death

Not morbid to me at all, but a reminder of the preciousness of each moment of life, is death.  As the author of a book on the subject and a passionate speaker on the  topic I have merged my writing once again with my art creating a line of sympathy cards.  Among my favorite quotes on the subject of loss is this, "Grief is yet another song the heart must sing to open the gate of all there is". This is often the verse I use for my handmade cards.  None of us will be spared the song of grief, and we never really get over it.  Instead, we make room for grief and our wounds become a part of who we are. Grief carves deeply into our souls, but that cavern makes a wider place for joy to fill, for pain and happiness come from the same place within us.  While I truly feel great sympathy for any loss another faces, I do believe it is the shared truth that we all must face loss and death that is the heart and soul of our connection to one another. Our certain knowledge that all of this is fleeting is what makes moments so sweet and gives love its greatest power.

Living, Loving, Letting Go

How can so much time go by between posts? I am always busy with art and work, I intend to share more, but such is life- plans are set aside for what really happens.  It is all about letting go of what we think for what is, letting go of plans and expectations and embracing what happens, good and bad, joyous times and life's sadder days, they shape us into who we are.  These past few years have brought me new lessons in letting go of what I thought was to be and have blessed me with the greatest of rewards as I witness life unfold as it was meant to, not as I thought it should be.  This time of tremendous growth has broadened my spirit in ways I could never have foreseen.  Wounds do not really heal, they simply become a part of us and if we are brave enough to live the dark times fully, the brighter days are even more glorious.  These two pieces depict a couple of my greatest losses, but celebrate how they shaped me and how much I rejoice in those relationships I have cherished.

Passionate Love

Happy Valentine's Day - This day and everyday, love with all you've got.  Passion is about being fully committed, fully engaged, fully present - not necessarily about the kind of passion we usually associate physical passion, though that too is wonderful. Passion can and should be a part of all that we do- whether creating, cooking, working, cleaning, exercising, eating, listening, seeing, loving - doing what we do with intention and a sense of purpose can allow for the ordinary moments of life to become sacred, because they are, each one will never come again and marks a passage of time on this incredible journey of life. Here are the Valentine's I made for my children and their partners, each collage holds some symbolism about their lives and the message is the same because each of my children has been enhanced by the partnerships they have formed, each has blossomed more fully with the loves in their lives. We have never been so blessed.

Crafting Life

For all of my life I have been drawn to crafting in one form or another. I come from parents who could work creatively with their hands and some of my richest memories involve working with them on a project, or merely watching them working at one thing or another. Our parents fostered in us a strong desire to work with our hands in creative ways, from supporting my sister’s batik work, to teaching us embroidery, or proudly displaying my massive macramé projects.  There was nothing we weren’t encouraged to try and supported in doing and we are truly blessed by the richness of those memories and the lessons hand crafting brought to our lives.

 

As I was working on a purse recently, having been inspired to create with recycled materials, my shoulders ached with the repetitive, hunched over work of needle nosed pliers and tiny jump rings, and I simply had to stop.  I marveled at how it was developing and with my aching shoulders, granted myself the simple stretching and time away needed to be able to go back to it.  Creating a beautiful hand crafted piece of any kind takes a multitude of little steps, many of them not particularly fun at all, often very repetitive, arduous, tedious steps done with a single purpose and intention. When you are done you have a thing of beauty, sometimes you have a masterpiece.  Creating a beautiful life is done the same way.

It is a wonderful thing to witness the fruits of one’s labor, to behold the things of beauty that can manifest from concentrated effort and attention to detail.  Life is no different. There are hundreds of mundane, arduous, and tedious tasks to living one’s life, but they can be done with an intention, a common purpose and a vision. Those daily mundane, arduous, tedious tasks are your life after all. Like the Buddhist saying, before enlightenment – chop wood, carry water, after enlightenment – chop wood, carry water. Life’s daily tasks still need doing and there is grace in doing them with intention, with gratitude for your abundance, with love and affection for the nurturing spirit you embody.

Best Holiday Wishes to all of You as you craft the life  of your dreams-