Beloved Boy

I may not have posted a blog for some time, but my life has been full of a new kind of creativity and wonder.  Spending a week a month with my beloved boy in Long Beach, CA, marveling at the wonder of how quickly babyhood passes by.  Nana Weeks became a central part of all of our lives, finding new ways to grow and nurture and love my family.  The center of all of it -our wondrous Ezra, eternally happy, bursting with life and energy and curiosity.  I began his Books of Ezra as a way to tell him his story through the eyes of his Nana and Papi, to capture those moments he will never remember and to share with him the way we have seen him and celebrated him. Each picture tells a story, each has a caption and shows him his early life as we have seen it.  The first year fills two albums, his second year, already two months underway will fill the next two.  Creativity and expression are still central to my life and my days, there are just new ways to live those out - whether cooking for Ezra and his parents, making Ezra's birthday party decor, or planning our travel - it is all about expressing love.  Love is a verb, it is doing and every small act of our daily lives can be about that sacred action.

Beautifully Broken

I keep a series of journals, several different ways in which I sort my way through life's ups and down, challenges and celebrations.  This is an evolution of chronicling that began when I was pregnant with my daughter over 30 years ago and my sister gave me a blank journal in which to record the events of pregnancy and babyhood for my daughter to one day read.  I have written in a variety of blank books over the years, not daily or sometimes even monthly, but it is fun to go back and see an overview of how life has evolved.

Once I began doing mixed media art, I incorporated art journals into my arsenal of self expression, this too has evolved as all of our expressive forms do.  Currently, I journal a monthly list of what kinds of creative works I have done, along with a section for thoughts on the process and a place to record where my resources toward creativity have gone.  On the facing page I do a simple collage.  Even when I am at a lull in activity and creative expression I am able to record many creative endeavors that have carried me through my days - in my case busy hands=happy heart.

The above was slapped together very quickly when we returned from our harrowing loss of my father-in-law. It just came through me as any real expression does, we are just in the flow.  There are no illusions about any real art being made here, but it resonates with me nonetheless. Broken can be beautiful and often when the heart breaks, it breaks open allowing love and light to flood in and spill over.  We are blessed to have loved one so dear and to have allowed his love and light to fill us to overflowing.

Ezra the Magnificent

We are so filled with joy I hardly have words.  Our beautiful Ezra came on May 23rd and in perfect time to fill our hearts when it would be most needed.  As life is nothing if not an endless roller coaster of ups and downs, our greatest joy was followed within a month with our deepest sorrow as we had to say goodbye to one of our most cherished.

How vast was that swing from elation to devastation and yet, that is the rhythm of life and no one knew it better than my dear, sweet father-in-law.  No man has ever lived who got it more than he did. He told everyone he encountered over and over, "relax, enjoy life", he never said a harsh word or judged another, truly he was a very advanced and wise soul, and we are grateful and joyous that we had him and cherished and adored him for as long as we did. We are ever more grateful that we had a tangible place to seek solace from our pain as we held our little Ezra.

First comes Love . . .

First comes Love, then comes marriage, then  . . .   You know how it goes.  What a year 2012 was, both kids married in joyous union with wonderful spouses who compliment them perfectly, who fill their hearts and uplift their souls.  At the marriage of our daughter, following a beautiful civil ceremony in lower Manhattan in the wedding garden across the street our son gave us our next great celebration of love.  After asking if I was ready for the next surprise (and with the full knowledge and support of his sister and her wife) he handed me their ultrasound picture, announcing a 10 week pregnancy!!

Joy of joy, little E is due next month!! - Choosing not to know the sex, but choosing names that begin with E, we await with such love and happiness this miracle of love and light.  While creating the above piece, intended to be about angels (hence the 3-3-3), the spirit of Little E came to me and I knew this piece was not to be mine, but was for Elias' wife Erika and is a celebration of the phrase "Dar A Luz", which is used in many Spanish speaking cultures to mean "to give birth" but literally translates as "to give to light."  What a perfect turn of phrase that is.  Both Erika and Elias are fully engaged an attentive to every subtle nuance of the process of bringing forth life, eating healthy nutrient rich foods, exercising according to guidelines, following every detail of instruction from their doctor, attending classes about parenting and the birth process, preparing a beautiful room and a bookshelf of books for Little E.  My fervent wish is that all children could enter the world so loved and wanted, so celebrated and cherished.

The Promise of Death

Not morbid to me at all, but a reminder of the preciousness of each moment of life, is death.  As the author of a book on the subject and a passionate speaker on the  topic I have merged my writing once again with my art creating a line of sympathy cards.  Among my favorite quotes on the subject of loss is this, "Grief is yet another song the heart must sing to open the gate of all there is". This is often the verse I use for my handmade cards.  None of us will be spared the song of grief, and we never really get over it.  Instead, we make room for grief and our wounds become a part of who we are. Grief carves deeply into our souls, but that cavern makes a wider place for joy to fill, for pain and happiness come from the same place within us.  While I truly feel great sympathy for any loss another faces, I do believe it is the shared truth that we all must face loss and death that is the heart and soul of our connection to one another. Our certain knowledge that all of this is fleeting is what makes moments so sweet and gives love its greatest power.

Living, Loving, Letting Go

How can so much time go by between posts? I am always busy with art and work, I intend to share more, but such is life- plans are set aside for what really happens.  It is all about letting go of what we think for what is, letting go of plans and expectations and embracing what happens, good and bad, joyous times and life's sadder days, they shape us into who we are.  These past few years have brought me new lessons in letting go of what I thought was to be and have blessed me with the greatest of rewards as I witness life unfold as it was meant to, not as I thought it should be.  This time of tremendous growth has broadened my spirit in ways I could never have foreseen.  Wounds do not really heal, they simply become a part of us and if we are brave enough to live the dark times fully, the brighter days are even more glorious.  These two pieces depict a couple of my greatest losses, but celebrate how they shaped me and how much I rejoice in those relationships I have cherished.

Passionate Love

Happy Valentine's Day - This day and everyday, love with all you've got.  Passion is about being fully committed, fully engaged, fully present - not necessarily about the kind of passion we usually associate physical passion, though that too is wonderful. Passion can and should be a part of all that we do- whether creating, cooking, working, cleaning, exercising, eating, listening, seeing, loving - doing what we do with intention and a sense of purpose can allow for the ordinary moments of life to become sacred, because they are, each one will never come again and marks a passage of time on this incredible journey of life. Here are the Valentine's I made for my children and their partners, each collage holds some symbolism about their lives and the message is the same because each of my children has been enhanced by the partnerships they have formed, each has blossomed more fully with the loves in their lives. We have never been so blessed.